Good Gambling Puns
Last Updated: 8th July 2020
Everyone loves witty jokes. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh.
- Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
- I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
- My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
- A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says 'They're right behind you!'
- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
- Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
- When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
- My friend says to me: 'What rhymes with orange' I said: 'No it doesn't'
- What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
- My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
- I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
- Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
- A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
- I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
- Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
- Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
- When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
- As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
- How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
- And the lord said unto John, 'Come forth and you will receive eternal life'. John came fifth and won a toaster.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
- I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
- Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
- Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says 'Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!'. The other cow replies 'Good thing I'm a helicopter'.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.
- Why is there a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up.
- How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
- When will the little snake arrive? I don't know but he won't be long...
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- What has three letters and starts with gas. A Car.
- How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket!
- I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
- Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet? They got stuck at C.
- I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish.
- Somebody stole my microsoft office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.
- Just remember - you never really completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.
Good Gambling Puns For People
An old man had a gambling problem not a bad one but a really good one. He was depositing thousands each day. A few months pass and seeing as the old man had no job was contacted by the IRS to discuss his income.
- Jan 16, 2017 Please sit back and enjoy this collection of (mostly) funny jokes and one-liners relating to Gambling, Sports Betting, Casino Games and everything in between Let’s start proceedings with some.
- The picture is not as it seems to be. The geologists are also very pleasant by nature. It is the nature of their subject that makes them grave-looking people. They also cut jokes and puns with their relatives and loved ones. Here, I am going to list a few best puns and jokes related to geology.
Good Gambling Puns For Adults
Still looking to laugh some more? Read our large collection of Funny Dad Jokes